Blown away…

I’m done! Surgery is over, and I feel incredible! Thank God. A huge thank you to everyone who reached out. I am grateful for the outpouring of love, support, and prayers. I am of the firm belief that those make an impact on the surgical outcome. Being surround by love and kindness and care is the perfect environment to promote healing.

On to the surgery recap! I arrived at the surgery center early, and everyone quickly got to work. Within 30 minutes I was walking into the OR. Yes, walking. I hate being wheeled in and hoisted onto the operating table. This OR is small but mighty. So no gurney. I walked in…at peace, smiling, self assured, and confident that this would change my life. And it did.

I have had multiple surgeries in the past, and the anesthesia recovery was always the most challenging part. My body just doesn’t metabolize it quickly, and I feel like piping hot garbage for days. This time around, I was prepared. I gathered the surgery notes from all my procedures and wrote a narrative of how I felt afterwards. I shared this with my brilliant cousin to get his expert input (shout out to this cousin and all my cousin doctors who have selflessly shared their brilliance with me in numerous consults), and he helped me understand what happened and why I felt the way I did post-op. He also helped me ask the right questions of the anesthesiologist.

That made a world of difference!! I’ve NEVER felt this good after surgery. I had a hard time keeping my eyes open at first but I was aware and alert. I kept asking the different nurses how things went, and all of them told me it was great. They were all so excited and genuinely happy for me. Per usual, I was super emotional after anesthesia and was crying as I thanked them for taking care of me. They were all so sweet and happy for me and so pleased with how things went in surgery.

They wheeled me into the waiting room even though I could have easily walked. In fact, I did a few squats in the recovery room, but I’m not sure what exactly spurred that athletic display. My friend was waiting for me (shoutout to this AMAZING human who finished nursing school, passed her boards, and flew out to be with me. Truly a blessing to have her here).

I’m staying at a surgery recovery center, and it’s wonderful. Beautiful room that’s perfectly appointed with everything needed to recover. I settled in and it hit me…I did it. This is done. Everything I planned and worked for has happened, and I’m ready for what’s next!

As I was lounging in bed, trying to get comfortable it hit me that I have less pain today than I did yesterday. Even after everything that happened in that OR, I still had less pain than I’ve had in months. I’ve heard this from the surgeon and numerous patients, but I was still a bit skeptical. Turns out they were 100% right. My legs feel better than they did before they were kneaded, squeezed, poked and prodded. That blows my mind. If you’re interested in seeing this surgery and how the nodules come out,

I have been walking around the room partially to keep the fluid draining and partially because I’m amazed that I can move with ease. However, I’m having trouble walking because my legs are light!?! I lift them too much, and I feel like I’m walking like a horse, dressage style. My body has adapted to moving these heavy, concrete legs. My gait has changed due to the location of the nodules. My feet have pronated due to the extra weight. I’m amazed at how the body adapts and adjusts to protect itself.

One interesting thing about this place is that there are mirrors everywhere. I guess that’s on brand for a Beverly Hills recovery center. Every time I pass a mirror, I still see the same legs. I don’t see a huge change. Part of that is due to the massive swelling. Part of that is due to my body dysmorphia. But as I walk by those mirrors, I notice I’m walking with ease. Less waddling in pain. Less hunching over. There are a lot of overwhelming emotions that come with body transformations. Even if the changes are positive and welcomed, there are a lot of feelings to process. Something I’m definitely mindful of in these coming months. I don’t know how they will look, but I know how they will feel, and that’s why I moved forward with this surgery. I wanted to stay mobile. I desperately needed some pain relief. I wanted to be more active. And I did it. I made it happen. I have no words for how grateful, excited, hopeful and relieved I am right now. I knew this would be life changing, but I have only scratched the surface of just how much is going to change, and I’m here for it!