This week, I was supposed to be headed to LA for a follow-up appointment with my surgeon. It has been 3 months since my first surgery, and I wanted to check in with him on recovery and discuss surgery #2. I ended up canceling the appointment because I was not ready to think about the next surgery. Initially, I thought I would want to space out the surgeries to be 3-6 months apart because I was ready to be done. I have at least two more on the horizon, and I didn’t want to be in this surgery/recovery limbo for years. However, as I’ve been recovering and healing, I’ve found I wasn’t ready for surgery #2. Physically, I feel great. My legs are healing nicely. I still have a lot of lipedema left in my body, so I’m not completely without pain. However, there has been a significant reduction in pain and an increase mobility. I’m confident I’ll see similar results in future surgeries. So, what is holding me back?
Honestly? I don’t know. There isn’t any one specific thing I’m unsure about or doubting. I am so happy with my first surgery from the prep to the actual procedure to the recovery. Given how much I have struggled with surgery and post-op recovery in the past, this experience has been an absolute dream. I’m just not ready to do it again right now. This happened to me last year as well. When I had my consult in September 2021, I came home ready to have surgery in January 2022. I started making plans, and things weren’t easily falling into place from a scheduling and logistics perspective. I received offers for some great freelance assignments, and the timing wouldn’t work. So, I postponed it until April 2023. That timing didn’t work out either, so I decided to just wait on picking a day. By July 2023, I was ready. It was like a switch flipped, and I was ready to get things moving ASAP. From that point on, things fell into place so easily! Personal and work commitments were naturally wrapping up. I was feeling much better physically after 8 months of being on medication to manage my insulin resistance. I was spending a lot of time in the pool and seeing the benefits of the natural compression of being in the water. I was able to increase the number of MLD therapy sessions. So, I made my appointment for October 18, 2022 and never looked back!
I am a planner and list maker by nature. This comes in handy for many things, but I have to remind myself that my body is on its own schedule. I can prep and plan all I want, but ultimately I need it to be on board with my plans. It’s not yet onboard for surgery #2, and rather than do a deep dive and dissect all the reasons why not, I need to accept it. When my body is ready for the next procedure and the timing is right, things will fall into place. I have to trust the timing and reasons even if I don’t understand them. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still hoping to have surgery #2 by the summer — I’m still me after all 🙂 I’m just not pushing myself into a major decision like this until I’m ready, and for whatever reason I’m not quite ready. In the meantime, I will continue to do the things I did before to prepare for surgery so when the time comes, I am ready.
The LipeDiva 